3 of the most biffsquiggling Roald Dahl fan conspiracy theories ever
we’ve all loved Roald Dahl’s books and their silver screen adaptations for years, but what if these stories aren’t quite as they seem? What if our beloved Matilda grew up to fight against Voldemort in J.K Rowlings Harry Potter series, and what if Willy Wonka chose Charlie from the start? Well, wouldn’t that be interesting!
So most fans of the classic Charlie and the Chocolate factory have never questioned the idea that Charlie getting his hands on that splendiferous golden ticket was completely by chance. However, there are some people out there on the internet who have given it lots of thought and now, they have a different theory!
Reddit user paulvs88 surmised that Wonka, in fact, gave Charlie the ticket on purpose. You’ll all remember in the film adaptation of the classic children’s book, after we see the likes of Mike Teavee and Violet Beauregarde win their tickets we find out that the final ticket has been found. So how, may you ask, do we learn this new information from? Well, it’s in a news report all the way from Paraguay, however, Gene Wilder actually plays the reporter who relays this news, so it’s easy to assume that this could have been Wonka in disguise fabricating the report.
Now you may be wondering why Wonka would lie about the last ticket being found, the Reddit theorist continues with a pretty convincing idea.
“He wanted somebody to find the last ticket the pure way, not just as part of the contest to win the lifetime supply of chocolate. He also wanted somebody local for many reasons.
“It would be much more likely for a child to be able to stay and move his entire family into the factory if he/she was local. Also if the last kid was local there would be no logistics of getting him/her to the factory because the event was just a day away.
Convincing, but we’re sure you still have some questions. The Theorist continues to pick apart the way in which Charlie then gets his golden ticket.
“He finds money and goes into the candy store run by Bill”, Oddly another form of William or Willy, but do we really believe that the shopkeeper works for Wonka?
“We know he likes kids and gives them free candy….lots of it..as seen in the opening Candy Man number.
You might take this moment to remind us that Wonka only has Oompa Loompas working for him? After his old employees were caught selling his secret recipes, Not true, let’s remember the imposter Mr Slugworth, one of Wonkers workers pretending to be his rival to catch the children out. Wonka knowing when and where the tickets would be found, also explains how ‘Slugworth’ gets to the children so quickly after they find their tickets.
So back to the candy store, the theorist suggests that Wonka instructs Bill (the candy man) to give the last ticket to a local kid, a poor kid, an unselfish kid.
“Bill probably already knows these things about Charlie but just needs to confirm them. When Charlie comes in with his found money Bill offers him a Slugworth or a Wonka.
“Charlie says ‘whichever is biggest’. So he gets the Wonka. Then as Charlie is walking out he says to Bill ‘I also want to get one for my Grandpa Joe’…that is the clincher. Bill has to give the ticket today because the event is tomorrow. Charlie NEVER gets to choose what candy bar to buy Grandpa Joe.”
The theorist concluded: Bill says, “Here, try a traditional Wonka bar this time” and grabs one. He doesn’t grab one from the stack as an owner would, he takes the display one and hands it to Charlie.
“He knew exactly which one had the ticket. It was displayed right out front but behind the counter so it could only be retrieved by him.
Roald Dahl was the real BFG
Yes, we know the BFG is a fictional character, and no one is trying to convince you that Roald Dahl lived his life eating snozzcumbers or that he lived in giant country but, it wouldn’t be such a stretch to say he lived in dream land.
Now Roald Dahl may not have been 24 feet tall but he did tower over most people at an impressive 6ft 6!
Don’t worry this isn’t our only proof that this gentle giant was in fact the BFG himself. His daughters, Ophelia and Lucy, have released some fascinating insights into what it was like having Dahl as a father. They’ve said that when they were young he used to stand outside of their bedroom window (on a ladder, he wasn’t quite that tall) and used a bamboo cane to blow good dreams into their minds, exactly like the BFG does with his magic pipe! Ophelia told The Telegraph that both her and her sister knew it was their father outside their window but they also knew that keeping the façade alive and allowing their father to give them “happy dream” was important to him.
So there you have it, he was taller than most and gave, not only his own children, but all children that read his books, something happy to dream about.
Matilda grows up to be Hermione Granger
Now we wouldn’t be in the slightest bit surprised if J.K Rowling was a fan of Roald Dahl herself but Matilda from “Matilda” growing up to be Hermione Granger does seem a little far-fetched.
But once we did our research we had to admit it was an interesting idea. Reddit user TopRamen was one of the first to bring this theory to life. They begin their theory by stating the obvious facts that both children are British, both love to read and that both are brilliant with magical powers. “Matilda Hermione Wormwood displays her magical abilities when she’s under great stress at Miss Trunchbull’s academy. Like Harry’s blowing up of his aunt and the disappearance of the glass at the zoo. “Of course Hermione being Hermione and being older is now able to control her telekinesis much better (ever wonder how she mastered Wingardium Leviosa so quickly? She was actually using her telekinesis)”
We already know a lot about Matilda’s life before she is adopted by Miss Honey but very little about their lives after, our theorist attempts to fill in the gaps “In order to escape her family’s criminal past and to honor her new mother, Matilda renames herself Hermione Jean Honey.
Under the care of a teacher, Hermione learns to respect good teachers and gives up her pranks” creating the obedient attitude we’ve come to expect from Hermione. “Miss Honey does some growing as well. She goes to night school to become a dentist, where she meets a fellow older learner, Mr. Granger. They fall in love and eventually marry.
The theorist then concludes that soon after this a witch by the name of Professor McGonagall arrives and the rest, if we are to believe this theory, is Hogwarts history.
So there you have it. Our 3 Roald Dahl fan conspiracy theories, which do you believe?